Second Chances
by alexzyishadow
Summary: My brother and I had lost everything. This had to be done. We had no idea what would happen or if we would even live, but there was no other option. Life was miserable and if we had the chance to go back and fix everything, that's what we had to do. EJ and I were going 20 years into the past. To the year 2005.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Please read this SORRY FOR ANY CONFUSION This all of the same content just combined to make longer chapters since i've decided to continue the story as one long story instead of two short one's. Fan fiction is being ridiculous so I had to take the story down and repost it as this. I'm super sad because that means that I lost all of my reviews. From now on the chapters will be much longer and there will be a regular update day, which I will post later. This will be the only Disclaimer and it will apply to the entire story. PS Thanks to All of my readers, people that are following the story and reviewers. This should be better all inconsistencies have been fixed.

When my brother and I were born it was unexpected. No one knew that my mother was pregnant and why should they have suspected? She didn't show any signs of pregnancy and her husband, my father was a vampire. No one knew that it was possible for a vampire to get a human pregnant so no one thought to stop the change before it started.When my father bit my mother it caused my brother and I to be born. I guess a part of us knew, even though we hadn't been born, that we were in danger, so the labor began. I don't remember ,but my aunt Rosalie told me that it was horrible, we ripped our way out of the womb and if my mother hadn't already had venom in her system she would have been dead. As it was, we were quite a shock to both my parents and the vampire world, which ultimately lead to this point.

EJ and I grew at a normal rate and after two years my aunt and uncle found others like EJ and I ,although we were different. The other half breed ,three girls and a boy, all grew quickly and had reached maturity by age seven, then they stopped growing. While EJ and I didn't age rapidly we were very intelligent and could remember everything starting from the day after our birth. We spoke our first words at a week and by six months we could talk in full sentences and hold small conversations with our family, mentally. While our minds were very well developed our bodies were still that of infants and there were many things that we weren't capable of. Grandpa Carlisle believed that because mom had been bitten while pregnant the venom had slowed down our growth to a normal rate, but our minds continued to develop as quickly as the others.

At age five my family had decided that EJ and I were old enough to hunt with them, because we had enough strength and speed to do so. One one of our trips we were spotted by a visitor who confused us for immortal children and ran to the vampire authority, the Volturi.

My family tried to prevent it from going to battle, but it did and all of them were lost. I still have the memory of my family being ripped apart. My brother and I were off to the side paralyzed when my Aunt Rosalie spotted us and ran. We had been on the run since then.

Aunt Rose raised us, although she wasn't as happy as she once was. She had always wanted to be a mother, but the death of her entire family was not how she wanted to do it. She missed Uncle Emmett, and it showed in everything that she did. Since my brother and I could remember everything, we suffered with her. We watched our parents and family get ripped apart as well.

The first few years were the hardest for all of us. Everyday EJ and I would think of our parents and how much we missed everyone. We would often burst into tears, causing Aunt Rose to attempt to comfort us. She tried to be strong, but we could still hear her sob in the night. I could sympathize with her because I knew what she was feeling. When I saw Jacob being attacked, my first instinct was to go and protect him, but that's when aunt rose grabbed us and ran. I didn't actually see Jacob die, but I felt the pain in my heart. For a long time I didn't know why, and years later Aunt Rose explained to me that Jacob had been my soulmate of sorts, an imprint the wolves had called it. She didn't believe that was actually real, but I could feel that it was. I wish I could say that the pain eventually went away, but it only faded a bit.

Life moved on as always and we tried to live as normally as possible, but we constantly had to move, for fear that whatever remaining Volturi that was left would come and end us. They did eventually come, but they didn't end all of us and they didn't come all at once.

After having our lives completely ripped apart for the second time, we knew we had to do something. I had literally lost everything and everyone. I knew what the consequences were, but I couldn't deal with the pain that I was feeling.

Aunt Rose had begged us to never do what we were thinking off, but she was dead now and no one was going to stop us. I knew that it was incredibly risky for EJ to use his power. The last time that he had used it he had almost died. It took so much energy out of him, but we needed to do it.

I knew that now was the perfect moment and that EJ wouldn't refuse. I could see the pain in his green eyes, although he kept his face hard.

"EJ?" he looked up at me. There were tears in his eyes, but I couldn't cry anymore, I was tired and we were going to fix this.

"EJ, we have to go back and stop all of this." For a split second I thought that he would refuse, but then he nodded.

The relief I felt was numbed by the fact that I knew that this trip might kill him. I hoped that I would be able to save him in time, but if he died I would be crushed. Though it would all be worth it and we would be able to create a different future for ourselves. One where none of this ever happened. We were going back to stop my father from ever leaving in the first place. We were going back to the moment where this all began.

We left at dawn. It was decided that we would go back to just before mom's eighteenth birthday, that way we could stop the event that put everything in motion. The moment when my mother got that stupid paper cut. Everything that happened to us, to our family to the vampire world, all of this because one drop of blood.I grabbed EJ's hand as he started to concentrate. The world started to blur around us; a blur of voices and colors. Just as my stomach started to turn and I started getting light headed it all stopped.

We were in the old house, only it looked just like it used to. The sound of vampire growls surrounded us. "Who are you?" "What are you?" "How did you get here?" Questions came at us from almost everyone, the only ones who didn't ask any questions were our parents. We needed to go back further. We didn't have enough time to convince them to trust us. Nothing would change if we stayed here.

"EJ, we're not far back enough." I turned to look at him, and saw blood start to pour out of his nose. He opened his mouth to speak only to start choking on more blood. Then he collapsed.


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as EJ collapsed grandpa Carlisle came to help. Despite his suspicion of us, he was too compassionate, to good of a person to let anyone die if he could stop it. I thought that I couldn't cry anymore, but I was wrong. I could, EJ was the only one that I had left. I was standing in a room with all of my family, but in my future they were dead.

If seeing EJ bleed and collapse like that didn't make it obvious that we weren't vampires then seeing me burst into tears did. Nana Esme came over and wrapped me in her arms. It felt nice and was comforting, but the arms I was so desperate to feel around me were aunty Rose's arms and my mothers arms. I was torn, until the desire to hug my mother won out. The last time I had seen her or felt her touch was when I was a few months old, longer since I had felt her human touch.

I pulled away from Nana and got up. As I was making my way towards her Dad started to growl and kept backing away with mom behind him. He kept getting closer to the door and I started getting frustrated. I knew he was being protective, but this was my mother; I wasn't going to hurt her.

Then I realized. I had my shield up and there was no way for any of them to know that. Of course they were suspicious, especially after the James incident. The only reason they had calmed down was probably because they knew that there was no way that we could hurt them. I was just a crying teenage girl and EJ was half dead. We weren't a threat, yet dad still continued to back away from me. Wiping the tears off of my face I decided that it was time for explanations.

I stopped my pursuit of them and tried to calm dad down. "I'm not going to hurt her." I told him. Once everyone was quiet and I was sure they were listening, I began to explain.

"My name is Renesmee and the boy upstairs is Edward Jacob, EJ for short." Everyone was silent. The only sound was my heartbeat, EJ's slightly slower one and papa working over him.

"You must be wondering why we are in your home and how we got here." I continued, "I will explain that, but first I need to do what I came here to do." I turned my head to face my mom and dad, staring directly into dad's eyes. "You can't leave no matter what happens" I pleaded. "There are more consequences than you could possibly imagine." I hoped he would listen.

He looked at me first with shock and then frustration. He had obviously just figured out that he couldn't read my mind; one of the gifts that I had inherited.As he opened his mouth to protest I cut him off.

"I know that you're not thinking about leaving now, at least not seriously, but you will." The thought must have crossed his mind at some point. Especially after the incident with the nomads.

"You have to promise me that you won't leave, not now, not ever." I couldn't risk him leaving at a different time, the same thing could happen anyway and I had to make sure that it didn't.

His features contorted slightly in anger. I had forgotten about how much of a temper dad could have. " I don't have to promise you anything." He spat out through his teeth. I heard mom gasp and saw her eyes start to well with tears. Dad heard it too and realized that his words were hurtful. Before mom probably hadn't believed me. What did I know about her boyfriend or her family? But now Dad had confirmed that he had been thinking about leaving and might have actually been planning to. He had some serious explaining to do.

Everyone around dad looked angry with him, except mom. She was angry and hurt. As mom turned to leave, he let her. He probably decided that he didn't want to explain himself in front of everyone. That I did remember about dad, he was proud and stubborn, although he himself didn't see it. As soon as mom was out the door, he followed after, picked her up and ran into the forest. The silence would have been awkward for me if they weren't the family that I had missed terribly. Just being around them made me feel comforted. As it was the silence was probably uncomfortable for them, after all I was a stranger who had barged into their home on what was a private occasion. I decided that I would tell the rest of my story. It would make it easier to convince my parents that what I said was true if the rest of the family believed me. Although I had already said it, the best place to start from would be from the beginning.

"My name is Renesmee and the boy upstairs is my brother EJ and you're my family."

Chaos erupted around me not even seconds after I spoke. Aunt Rose stood up immediately and called me a liar. That stung because she had raised me, but I understood. She had always been a bit suspicious. I thought it was because she had lost everything and we were constantly on the run, but I guess that it was just part of her personality. As she was about to leave Uncle Emmett stopped her; convincing her to at least listen to what I had to say. Without turning around he said "Alice?" She looked at him and admitted that she couldn't see me. It was Nana Esme that made the connection.

"I believe her" she stated. "She looks so much like Edward, and her name." She looked like she was thinking about something; trying to figure out how this could be possible. It would be easier to explain myself so I connected the rest of the evidence for them.

"Yes," I began. "It is Renee and Esme put together, although you guys usually called me Nessie." I added.

"Bella and Edward are my biological parents and I came here with my brother to save all of you." They looked at me with confusion and disbelief. What could I possibly have to save seven vampires from? Besides other vampires. Who could possibly want to end them?

I took a deep breath and warned them that "In my future, the Volturi ends all of your lives when I am five years old."


	3. Chapter 3

"When it was found out that mom was pregnant with EJ and I, it was a shock for everyone. No one knew that it was possible for a vampire to have children; because of this there was virtually no information about what to expect with a vampire pregnancy, and EJ and I were growing so quickly. Everyone was worried, but mom had faith. She loved us already, but Dad was terrified and that turned into hatred for us. Although very little was known about our kind it was obvious that we would kill mom if she carried to full term, he wanted to terminate the pregnancy. Mom refused, but she was only human and there wasn't much she could do in terms of defending us and herself, so she did the only thing she could think of. She called Aunt Rose to do it for her."

For the briefest second there was silence again and then they spoke up. Aunt Esme was the first to do so. She was shocked that Edward would want to do something like kill his own children. It was obvious that she was confused as to why Carlisle would agree to something so horrible and her turmoil showed.

"Carlisle would never do something like that. No decent person would force an abortion on someone." she insisted. I only frowned. Grandpa Carlisle _was_ willing to do that, but I never held it against him. Dad couldn't live without mom, he knew that and knew what it would do to the family if they lost them both. But that hasn't happened yet and this information would be hard to come to terms with for nana Esme, it would be difficult to come to terms with for everyone. At least not without all of the information.

"Bella came to me?" Aunt Rose asked incredulously. I imagined that it couldn't have been that much of a shock. Sure, Aunt Rose and Mom didn't get along before, but Aunt Rose loved kids and if anyone would protect us from harm, even if it came from our family, it would be her.

"Yes, she did. Who else would she have gone to?" I asked.

Aunt Rose stared in silence until Alice spoke. "She could have come to me" she said with a pout. "I'm her best friend" great more bad news to deliver. "No, she couldn't have. You couldn't see us and weren't sure what would happen. Because of that you wanted us dead as much as Dad did. You were sure that we would kill mom and you loved her too much to let that happen. She was your best friend." I repeated her own words to her.

It was Jasper who pointed out the facts. "So, Bella called Rosalie because she knew Rosalie wouldn't care if she died" he stated bluntly. Everyone cringed a bit, including me. "Not exactly," I started. "It's true that Aunt Rose wasn't as attached to Mom as the rest of you were, but it wasn't because she didn't care if mom died. She just wanted us to live." I explained.

"It's not like she was standing around wishing for her to die. Actually Aunt Rose and Mom were very close. They really acted like sisters from what I remember" I explained to them.

Nearly everyone around me looked at me like I was insane. Aunt Rose and mom really couldn't have hated each other that much, could they? I wondered.

"Stop looking at me like that!" I demanded. It was incredibly creepy. "I'm telling you the truth" I insisted. I could remember every detail of their relationship. They used to be around each other a lot. EJ and I had really bonded them together, and Aunt Rose was like our second mom, even before mom died.

"When EJ and I were born Aunt Rose liked to be around us. All of you did, but Aunt Rose especially." That must have been more believable because no one said anything.

"What about me?" Aunt Alice asked. "Bella and Rose were close, but not as close and me and Bella, right?" As much as I wanted to say yes, I wasn't sure.

"I don't know. You didn't really like being around us too much, since you couldn't see us and Jacob was always around. If you and Mom were close, you weren't close around me and EJ. It made you uncomfortable being blind" I told her.

"Who's Jacob? You don't mean Jacob Black, do you?" Aunt Rose questioned, sounding slightly disgusted.

"Yes." I told her.

Aunt Alice frowned at me, then glared. " I think you're lying. From the moment you walked in here, nothing you've said made sense. Not even things that you said we did. Now you're telling me that I basically turned my back on my family and that we hang out with descendants of werewolves!" she cried.

I knew that I was telling the truth, but even to me our story sounded strange and unbelievable. "Why should we believe you?" She demanded. As I was thinking of a response, someone else answered for me.

"Because we have proof" EJ said as he came down the stairs.

In his hand he had a small backpack. I had seen the bag, but didn't really question why he brought it with him. At the time I had been too distracted to care why EJ had a bag with him. Now, as he walked towards us he looked better, but there were dark circles under his eyes. Coming back here hadn't killed him, but it had taken a lot out of him. Just looking at him I knew that he needed to hunt, but unfortunately now was not the time to do so.

He was walking slowly, as if he were in pain and I felt the guilt rush up knowing that he _was_ in pain. I shoved the feeling away as he sat down, telling myself that this was for all of us and EJ was the only one with the kind of power needed to fix the future. As he sat down on the white couch he pulled out his tablet and unlocked it, sliding his finger on the screen to search for something. I walked behind him and looked over his shoulder. He was opening up the family album.

Of course! We had the pictures of us and the family. This had to be proof enough. As he pulled open the album Aunt Alice spoke up: "What are you doing?" she demanded.

EJ didn't say anything instead he turned the projection on and an image popped up. It was our first family portrait. Mom was sitting down with me in her lap, both of her hands were holding my small ones. I was looking up at her and she was staring into the camera with a smile on her face; her eyes were blood red, she was still a newborn. Next to her was Dad. He was sitting in a similar position with one arm wrapped around Mom and the other around EJ as he gripped his finger, a large grin on his face.

I remembered this day. It was the morning after Mom had beat Emmett at arm wrestling and Grandpa Charlie had come over. Mom and Dad were playing silly games with us while everyone watched. It was Nana Esme who had taken this picture. After that picture many more started playing. Getting measured by Papa, Dad singing us to sleep, sitting on the bench while dad taught us to play, us as newborns, Aunt rose and Mom hugging with us in between them, and so many more moments that I hadn't thought about in a long time. The final one was of all of us in the front yard together along with Jacob, Seth and Grandpa Charlie. I remembered that Sue and Leah were there too, but they had refused to join us.

Everyone remained silent as they absorbed the slew of information and the knowledge that we were telling the truth. Were they finally going to believe us?I wondered. I thought that they would, but I was wrong. We had solid evidence, but Uncle Jasper spoke up against us anyway.

"They could have photoshopped the pictures to look like that." He insisted. I groaned internally. Why is our family so suspicious? I wailed silently_._


	4. Chapter 4

EJ's expression remained blank. Out of the two of us I was the one that showed emotion, but it wasn't always that way. EJ had suffered as much as I had, but unlike me he didn't really have anything to look forward to, except the possibility of a better future, now that we had gone back. Although he was being accused of being a manipulative liar, he showed no emotion to the accusations being thrown at him. Not even a frown or glare. Instead he pulled open a video of all of us in the forest behind our house. It was only a week before we found out about the Volturi threat and we were just relaxing. I was sitting on Grandpa Charlie's lap and EJ was playing a game with our uncles and Dad. Jacob was the one filming.He was asking me a bunch of silly questions. It would have been much harder to edit this video to make it look real if it was fake, but Uncle Jasper accused us of it anyway.

This was really getting ridiculous and I could tell that EJ felt the same way. He spoke up. "Enough!" His voice was low and sounded scratchy, but there was still a lot of power behind his words. "There is no reason why we would want to trick you. We are here to warn you that the Volturi _do_ become a threat if you allow our father to leave. Whether you believe us or not doesn't matter to me, as long as you stay here in Forks and make sure that our parents stay together. Like it or not, believe us or don't, we are your family, your niece and nephew, your grandkids." He pointed out to them. "I have shown you proof. Now you can listen to us and stop being so suspicious or go ahead and be torn apart by the Volturi!"

This was the most passionate that EJ had been about anything in a long time. I stared at him in awe and wondered if this was a sign that things were going to change. I could see that the family began to accept our words as truth as the disbelief and shock disappeared from their face. Just as things began to look good for us our parents walked back into the room.

They were holding hands, meaning that they must have made up. Knowing my mother they probably came to an agreement of sorts. I wondered what Dad agreed to do. I was happy that they made up, but now they needed to be brought up to speed just like the rest of the family. The first thing they asked of course, was what was going on. I guess Dad figured that by now we would be gone, yet here we stood still in the living room of his home surrounded by his family. He was probably very confused and that's why I don't fault him for what he said next.

"Why are they still here?" he questioned them. I was tired of explaining myself and hoped that someone else would do it for me. I loved my family and was ecstatic at the opportunity to see them again, but I didn't remember them being so suspicious. Thankfully neither EJ nor myself had to explain the situation because Uncle Emmett did it for us, although it wasn't in the most considerate way.

"Dude, these are your kids" he had blurted out. I resisted the urge to groan and smack my forehead in frustration. That was not the way to break the news to them. It would be difficult enough to get them to listen to us and the news that they were our parents should have been broken more gently. However, I couldn't take the words back and decided that I'd had enough of trying to convince people that our story was true. For the first time I was glad that my father was a mind reader because I knew a surefire way to get him to listen. I dropped my shield and allowed him to see all of my thoughts and memories.

It would have been difficult to control my thoughts if I hadn't had years of practice doing so. Only a couple years after the battle that had destroyed almost all of my family, the Volturi began to regroup. Many of their own had been destroyed, but not all of them. They recruited vampires with strong gifts one of whom was a powerful telepath who was able to not only read thoughts from a distance, but find out things about a person that they themselves didn't even know. Thankfully we already knew that I could shield, but learning to block and control my thoughts made my shield that much more powerful.

In this moment I was glad that Aunt Rose had pushed me so hard to learn this. There were some things that I didn't want my father to know and some things that I wasn't ready to reveal yet. Instead I projected the images from my early childhood starting with my memories from the womb, to the death of the family at the hands of the Volturi. It may have seemed sadistic and it was painful for me as well, but I lingered on the death of my mother. My father was a stubborn man. That I already knew, but seeing my mother, his mate die like that would hopefully make him want to stay with her now that he knew their time together could be over very quickly. I put my shield back up once I showed him the image of Aunt Rose scooping EJ and I into her arms and running into the forest with us, in the middle of all the destruction.

The expression on his face would have been funny if the situation wasn't so serious. His mouth had literally dropped open and he stared at us with the most stunned expression I had ever seen.

Mom looked at him in disbelief. "Edward, these people can't be our kids right? I mean you can't even have kids" Mom stammered. She sounded like she was on the verge of hysterics and like she was trying to suppress laughter.

Dad turned to look at her. "Bella, I don't know how, but these are our kids" he admitted.

That's when Mom fainted.

Thankfully Dad caught her. From what Aunt Rose told me, it wasn't uncommon for Mom to faint. I didn't believe her at the time; it had sounded kind of pathetic, but seeing her do it now I couldn't deny that it was true. Although Dad had Mom in his arms he continued to stare at us, studying our every feature. To be honest the situation was somewhat awkward. I understood why he was looking, but I didn't like being stared at. I wasn't sure what to do so I just gave him a little smile and wave while EJ stared right back at him.

Dad moved to place Mom on the couch and sat with her head in his lap. We sat across from him. As we sat my stomach started growling and I realized that I hadn't eaten in over a week. What a mess we were, I thought. EJ needed to hunt, I needed to eat, but there was so much more that needed to be explained. Aunt Rose looked at me. She walked over to the table and cut a slice of the giant pink cake and then handed it to me. Watching her do that oddly made me miss her. She was standing right in front of me, but I missed the Aunt Rose that had raised us. I swallowed back the tears mumbled a thank you and began to eat the cake.

"You're being ridiculous" I heard EJ's voice inside my head. "I know that you miss her, but she's right in front of you. She's the same person she's always been" He insisted. I mentally stuck my tongue out at him. I knew that he was right, but couldn't I have a moment of privacy to grieve? Even as I thought that I knew that I couldn't let my shield down again and that meant that I would just have to deal with EJ's idea of comfort while he was under it.

Grandpa Carlisle came downstairs a few seconds later. He walked over to Nana Esme and then turned to EJ and I.

"I hope you don't mind, but I would like to ask you some questions. I have to say that you are the most interesting patient that I have ever operated on" that was Grandpa Carlisle, always with a thirst for knowledge.


	5. Chapter 5

"Um...Yeah, sure ask away" EJ mumbled in response to Grandpa Carlisle's request. The gleam returned to his eyes at the prospect of more information about a species that he had never heard of.

"How is it possible that you were even conceived?" Papa began his line of questioning. A blush rose to my face and would have rose to EJ's as well if it weren't for the fact that he needed to hunt. I knew that he wasn't asking literally how, but EJ's mind immediately went there and he cringed. I could see that he didn't really want to answer this question so I answered for him.

"Well, you just assumed that all vampires couldn't have children since you had never heard of it being possible or seen a case where that happened. Because very few vampires have the kind of self control to sleep with a human, no one gave any real thought as to whether it was possible for vampires to have children. You were running on assumptions as was the rest of the vampire world" I explained.

Uncle Emmett furrowed his brows. "But, the Denali sisters sleep with human men, and they don't have any children" he pointed out.

I nodded in agreement. "Yes. You're right, the Denali sisters don't have any children. It was Mom who figured out that vampire's don't have children because the females aren't capable of the change that is required to have a child. Males don't need to change and that's how mom got pregnant with us. Yes, Dad is a vampire, but he is still capable of impregnating a human as you can see" I told them.

Dad looked like he would be blushing if it was possible. They all nodded along. Now that it was pointed out to them, it no doubt it made perfect sense. That didn't stop Grandpa's line of questioning. I continued to eat my cake as he turned to EJ. Just as he was about to ask, Aunt Alice interrupted, telling us that Mom would wake up in 5 seconds. Sure enough, 5 seconds later, she opened her eyes. She glanced at us and jumped a little, realizing that we were in fact real. She sat up.

"What is going on?" she demanded. "Am I in the Twilight Zone? I just turned 18 today and suddenly my two grown kids from the future pop up!" she cried. "Can someone explain what's going on to me? How is this possible?"

Dad sat down next to her and both of her hands in one of his. "Bella, we are finding out about them. As it turns out male vampire's are fully capable of having children. They'll tell us anything that we want to know" Dad looked at us as if he were asking. I gave a small nod.

"Well isn't that just swell" She said sardonically. Now that Mom was up and ready to listen to us Papa continued asking EJ his question.

"EJ. I noticed that you healed very quickly. What was your growth like?" He asked.

"Renesmee and I grew normally. Mom was pregnant with us for almost eight months. By any standard we would have been considered premature, but when were delivered we were healthy and fully developed. We haven't aged since we reached maturity," EJ explained to him.

It was Aunt Rose that asked a question this time. "What makes you sure that you won't began again. We have no information about your species. You are one of a kind."

"That's not actually true," I began. "You're right that we are one of kind, but not because we are the only one's of our species. When the Volturi were coming to destroy us, Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper left the family to search for others of our kind. She found them, or at least one of them. He's a half breed named Nahuel. He's over 100 and lives in South America with his aunt. That is where we found out about others of our kind." I informed them.

There were gasps of shock all around the room.

"You mean to tell us that at this very moment there are half-breeds roaming the world without anyone having knowledge about them." Uncle Jasper said in disbelief.

"Yes, his father is a man by the name Joham. He has been breeding with women for over a century. At this moment I believe that his youngest daughter is about fifteen right now. He's been very thorough with keeping his children hidden, only breeding in very small superstitious villages. Most people know him as the Lobishomen. A vampire who preys mostly on women" I informed them. The expressions on their faces ranged from shock to horror to repulsion. I had felt that way when I first learned about what Joham had been doing. The man went around impregnating women, knowing that they would die and then came back for the child when it was fully grown. He basically abandoned his children and left them to fend for themselves from the time that they were newborns it was awful. EJ had realized at the same time that I had what that meant and pointed out to those he couldn't project his thoughts, which meant everyone, but me.

"In our future the Volturi end Joham for creating his so called master race, which was really just a small army of his own children. It was probably the only good that came out of the fight with the Volturi. I know that you guys would rather be peaceful than go looking for a fight, but he must be ended and we're the only ones that know what he's doing and have the power to stop him" EJ informed them.

The others continued to talk around me, but I was focused on something that EJ had said. The only good thing. I had never really thought about this, but there were good things that did come from it. They didn't outweigh the bad not in slightest, but because of what had happened such a long time ago I had met the man that I loved more than anything. I was raised by Aunt Rose who was a wonderful mother figure, even though she wasn't actually my mother and we were constantly on the run. I had good memories and I hadn't really thought about what life would be like if none of the bad had stuff had ever happened.

I wanted my family back, I wanted things to go the way they were supposed to, but I would be losing a lot in order for that to happen. My stomach began to churn and my heart started beating so fast I thought it would come out of my throat. What I would lose, what I would lose I kept repeating to myself. The voices around me started to blur even more and I saw EJ in front of me. He was asking me a question and that's when I threw up.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: This doesn't really have a lot of excitement, but we are getting closer to finishing Renesmee and EJ's story and moving into how Bella and Edward's life changes with their new knowledge of the future. So my now usually update day will be Tuesday and Friday or Saturday depending on how busy I am that week. I do have a job, I volunteer have club meetings and scholarship events on top of a full course load. So basically fanfiction will really be a side project. I'll try to update on those days, but if it doesn't happen, it's because all of those things. Anyway enjoy the chapter and please let me know what you think.

Thankfully EJ was fast and was able to avoid getting thrown up on. Unfortunately the carpet wasn't so lucky. Everyone's faces contorted in disgust. Nana Esme looked like she pitied me, but she was also disgusted that there was throw up all over the carpet. I was embarrassed. I had never lost my cool like that, but at the same time I couldn't help but want to cry. I had lost so much I didn't want to lose this too. As hard as I tried to hold back my tears they flowed down my face anyway.

"Don't worry dear we can get someone to clean that right out of the carpet" she comforted while holding her breath. I was glad that they would be able to keep the carpet from being ruined, but that wasn't what I had been crying about. EJ wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into the closest thing that we would ever get to a hug.

I allowed EJ to hear my thoughts. We had to tell them the rest of the story and they needed to hear why I was behaving this way, but I needed some time to myself first. I couldn't bring myself to speak, so I begged EJ to do it for me.

"There's still a lot that you need to know, but right now Renesmee would like a moment alone and I really need to hunt" EJ told them.

They didn't seem to like it, but it was obvious that this was something that we really needed. "Yes, I'm sorry. We hadn't realized. Would an hour be enough time?" Grandpa Carlisle asked. While I didn't like the time constraint, an hour should be plenty of time.

"That's fine" EJ said. As he was about to turn Papa called him back.

"EJ I don't think that you should be hunting alone. You're not completely healed yet and I would like to send someone to hunt with you as a precaution" he informed him.

I thought that EJ would get angry, but instead he shrugged his shoulders and responded with a "Whatever."

He ran out of the house and Uncle Jasper followed him. It was kind of rude, but I ran upstairs to one of the empty bedrooms. I was glad that Nana Esme kept the rooms fully furnished. I didn't get fatigued easily, but at this moment I just wanted to lay down. The large bed was just as comfortable as the one I remembered from my childhood. The room looked much different than the frilly princess room in the cottage that had yet to be fixed. I missed our small home, yet the big house was just as much home as the cottage. Looking at the ceiling, I allowed my mind to wander back to what it was that was bothering me.

One of the first memories that I had was of Jacob. He had always been there from the second that I was born. I had never come to see him romantically, but I could feel that I wanted him around. Whenever he would leave it would hurt and thinking about him now made me miss him more than ever. I missed the way that he would smile with all of his teeth whenever I did anything. I missed his playful nature, and the way he would make hunting a game because he knew that I didn't like doing it. He was wonderful and protective and I was sure that I would have grown to love him as more than my bestfriend if I had been given the chance. Thinking about him made me smile, but it also came with guilt. I would have loved Jacob as more, if his life hadn't been ended with the rest of my family when I was so young. Yet, that isn't what happened. I had never gotten to love Jacob and although I missed his presence every day, I had moved on, _eventually_.

The funny thing is that I hadn't really meant to. My life was a whirlwind of constant moving, fear and identity changes. We had never stayed in one place for too long and my mind was always focused on my protecting my family. We had only settled down once and that was for no more than a year; the last year that Aunt Rose was alive.

I let my eyes close as I thought about our last home. Isle Esme, the private Island that our family owned. It was well hidden, uninhabited and was on no map in the world. We usually fled to sunny places, but had to stay hidden in our home. Aunt Rose couldn't go out and she didn't like us going out without her because she worried that something would happen if we did and she wouldn't be there to protect us. Because of this we lived like true vampires hiding out and only coming out at night. Of course we lived in beautiful apartments, this was still Aunt Rose that we were talking about, but we were limited in what we could do.

Isle Esme had been a welcome relief. It was truly like a vacation, because we were able to go out in the sun and explore the island. We couldn't go to school so Aunt Rose home schooled us. She called our little trips on the Island our science classes. I remembered diving under the water with Aunt Rose and EJ. The water was crystal blue and salty. I remembered the animals I had seen and allowed myself to drift to sleep for a short nap with the memory of me riding a Dolphin.

I sat down on the couch again. This was all so much to take in. I had never wanted kids, and here I was with two of them. They were beautiful I had to admit that. I could clearly see Edward in both of them, but there were also some of my feature in them. This was supposed to be a simple birthday party, or I had hoped that it would be. I just wanted to stay at home and keep the day low key, but that hasn't gone according to plan. I wasn't sure whether or not I was glad or upset that I had come to the party. I guess I was a little bit of both. On the one hand coming here meant that I had gotten to meet these people- my kids I amended. I wasn't sure if I would ever get used to calling them that. They had told me so much and I was grateful that I had gotten insight into what Edward was thinking. It had never even crossed my mind that Edward would truly want to leave me and the thought still hurt, but now I knew. I had made a deal with Edward, although now I guess it didn't really apply, a shame because it had been such a good deal.

When Edward had ran me out of the house on his shoulders I was upset. He had been planning on leaving me and I was heartbroken. "What had I done wrong?" was my immediate thought. I wanted to get away from him. If he didn't want me then I wasn't going to stick around I thought in anger. I had been walking out the door when he picked me up, I began pounding on his shoulders and yelling at him to let me go, but he hadn't. He had only grabbed my hands and told me that I would hurt myself if I kept hitting him. Not even half a minute later he had put me down. We were in the meadow, or at least I thought it was the meadow. It was dark and my eyes hadn't really adjusted to the dim lighting of the moon which shone through the unusually sparse clouds.

I felt panicked. I didn't like being in the woods this late at night. I couldn't see anything and felt like I was being watched. I knew I was safe with Edward there and wanted to get closer to him, but resisted. I would not be weak.

"Take me home" I demanded. I didn't want to hear what he had to say since he never seemed to want to listen to me.

"Bella" He sighed. I didn't respond. I didn't know how he would explain himself and didn't really want to hear it. I knew he would somehow convince me to forgive him, and I would once again have no say. I turned my head away and crossed my arms across my chest. I knew he could see it.

The rest of the conversation went pretty much the same. I had decided to listen and told him everything that he was thinking. He had done the same (I hoped) and we had reached a compromise. When we returned to the house I thought that I had nothing to worry about, but then I had found out that those people were my kids. It was difficult to accept, they were older than I was, but then I listened to their stories. I had felt sympathy for them and an odd urge to comfort the girl, Renesmee, when she had thrown up. Looking at them when they were explaining their story to us I began to realize that it was obvious that these were our kids.

I hadn't wanted kids, but looking at them and seeing that they had suffered so much pain, made me glad that they existed. I wanted to take away their pain and made sure that they had a happy childhood. I wanted them. Now I knew that I had to fight with everything that I had to make sure that Edward didn't leave. Not only for myself, or his family, but for my children.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: sorry guys. Getting adjusted to College life took a while, especially with the start of my new job. On the bright side this chapter is slightly longer and i'm getting used to things. Updates should come more frequently now at least once a week although I can't promise that they will all be this long. Thank you to all of those that still stuck around. Somewhat of a cliff hanger, but you won't have to wait that long for the next chapter. PS I don't speak portuguese and used a translator. Sorry if it isn't quite right. You all know that Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. Enjoy the chapter!

I woke up early the next morning. I hadn't realized that I had fallen asleep until I opened my still heavy eyelids. The first time that I woke up, it was still dark. The next time I woke up the sun was rising. I felt somewhat bad for falling asleep on my family, but I was exhausted. I didn't need much sleep, maybe only once every few days and normally only for four or five hours at a time. Since I had went so much time without sleeping I had actually slept through the night; something that I hadn't done since I was 4 years old.

No one had woken me up and the house was unusually silent. They must have let me sleep, which I appreciated knowing that they would want more information and we had only agreed to an hour of time. I didn't really want to get out of bed, but I knew that they needed to hear the rest of the story. As I rolled out of the warm sheets and on to the cool floor, I could hear people quietly shuffling around the house and low voices in the kitchen.

My feet were bare, which was odd because I didn't remember taking my shoes and I wondered if Aunt Rose had taken them off for me, or maybe Nana Esme. I knew that it wasn't EJ and not Mom because she would have had to go home last night or risk having grandpa Charlie come and get her. It was odd to think of my mother getting in trouble with her father or even getting punished at all. It was almost funny, but I realized that I shouldn't mention it because she may have just turned eighteen, but she was still my mother.

As I walked past the bedrooms, I could hear them moving around in some of the rooms. I heard a heartbeat, which must have meant that Mom got here already. My stomach began to growl and I made my way toward the kitchen. As I walked in I saw Carlisle and Esme were there. She was flipping pancakes on the stove while Carlisle stood next to her. They were talking about something, but had stopped when I walked into the kitchen.

"Good Morning" they both greeted me. "I made you breakfast, I hope pancakes are okay." Nana Esme said as I grabbed the plate from her hands. I normally didn't like pancakes, but these smelled divine. I nodded and kept my mouth closed for fear of terrifying them with my morning breath. Just as I began to dig in I hear Mom began to walk downstairs, with Dad following closely behind her. They walked into the kitchen and Mom sat down across from me. Dad walked to the counter and grabbed a small stack from the counter where Carlisle and Esme were still standing.

"Good Morning, Renesmee" Mom said to me as Dad placed the food in front of her. I nodded again and wished for a toothbrush as I stared at the blue plate Mom was eating from, before looking back down at my own plate of half eaten food. I took a few more bites as an awkward silence settled around us. Once I finished I drank the glass of milk and whispered that I would be right back.

I had just walked into the bathroom when Alice walked in behind me. "There are toothbrushes under the sink. Toothpaste and mouthwash are in the cabinet behind the mirror" she informed me before turning and walking out of the room.

After taking care of the human things that I still needed to do I walked back downstairs to find everyone seated at the dining table. I noticed that EJ wasn't there and asked them where he was.

"We followed him on his hunt and when he was done he told us that he wanted to be alone. We didn't really want to, but the kid looked so torn up behind the glare he was throwing at us" Uncle Emmett said.

I sighed and thought about how difficult this must be for EJ. The family must have been wondering why EJ acted like that but, that story was personal and I didn't think that it was my place to share it.

I felt that we were getting nowhere and we were running out of time. There was only so long that we could stay before we had to go back. Staying in the past for too long would no doubt change the future in ways that we hadn't intended and for a brief second I imagined a world ruled by apes. A funny thought, but at most we could stay for a few more days before we had to go for sure unless that was the future that we wanted. The only reason that we would be staying for so long in the first place was because EJ needed time to recover. The trip back would probably kill him, but if we were right and had changed the future the way we intended than we would never have done this in the first place.

I opened up my shield a bit and projected a thought to EJ. I asked if it was ok for me to tell them his story or if he would rather keep it to himself. I could see through his mind that he was sitting in front of a river just staring at the mix of blue water and white ice flow. He responded back with a whatever and I decided to leave him alone, withdrawing from his mind.

"EJ wasn't always this emotionless" I began. "When we were younger he was actually a very happy and energetic child, more so than I was. He loved to play and laugh, but after our parents died, after _you_ died it was different. We all took it hard, but it really took a toll on him. After a couple of years though, he was better, not completely healed, but better." Dad looked ashamed.

"We weren't allowed to go out, but EJ seemed to enjoy his time with us" I informed them. "By the time we were 16 we were living in a small village in south america. The people were superstitious and afraid of us, which was fine because we could have the isolation that we needed, still it was sometimes lonely. EJ made things so much easier when we were there, he was smiling as much as he used to and seemed to find joy in everything. I was happy for him, but I was also suspicious; he had changed so suddenly and it was only a week later that I found out why.

He fell in love with a woman who we later found out was a creature known as an Encante, and frequently snuck out to go meet her. I'm sure that Aunt Rose knew what was going on, but I don't think she cared. She loved us, but after uncle Emmett died she just wasn't the same" I said sadly.

"Once I found out what he was doing, I began to sneak out once he had left. I was tired of being locked in the house and only being allowed to leave to hunt. I knew it was dangerous, but I felt like a caged bird. I was losing my mind and decided that it was worth the risk."

I looked down at the white carpet and leaned against the mahogany table. That was the moment when things truly began to get better, but it was also the beginning of the end for our small family.

EJ had been sneaking out to do what I don't know, nor do I really care. I could hear Aunt Rose quietly crying upstairs. I sighed as I tiptoed to the door. EJ had just left and I was sure that aunt Rose had heard him and could hear me, yet she didn't come and stop us. Once I got to the heavy metal door I quickly opened it and silently shut it behind me. It was dark outside, too dark for any human to see and almost too dark for me. The air was warm and a cool breeze occasionally blew toward me from the ocean.

I pulled my black leather jacket around me and pulled my skirt down a bit as I walked out of the door and ran through the forest. After a couple of minutes I slowed as I neared the road. It was dark and very few cars were passing by. I was sure that none of them could see me so I stepped further out and stuck my hand out, signaling for a car to stop. Headlights continued to pass me by, lighting up the night and then fading back out into darkness.

After what felt like forever a small blue car pulled to a stop in front of me. A man in a greasy shirt with a pot belly was sitting in the drivers seat. One hand was on the wheel and the other was sticking out the window as he signaled me to come over. In the passenger seat sat a woman with long dark hair and wearing a simple white summer dress, which almost glowed against her dark skin under the faint light of the moon.

Under normal circumstances hitchhiking would be dangerous, but I knew that if anyone would be in danger it would be these two if the decided to try anything. I grabbed the end of my hair and began to twirl it trying my best to look as innocent as possible.

"Precisar de uma carona?" the man asked me in portuguese as I approached his open window. I nodded my head and looked down at him. He nodded his head towards the back seat and I got in.

"Onde você vai?" He asked as he began to drive away. I played with my skirt and looked into the mirror. Brown eyes surrounded by smokey dark makeup looked back at me. Bright red lips and rosy cheeks surrounded by wild curly reddish brown hair. I looked hot I assured myself and turned to the man.

"em qualquer lugar divertido" I told him with a smirk.

"He took me to a club that night and that's what every night was like for me. I would sneak out after EJ left and catch a ride to any hot club that the locals knew about. Most of them were far away and every night was a fun night. I never once looked for EJ. I didn't care where he was going or what he was doing" I admitted with some shame.

Aunt Rose and Dad glared at me from across the table and Aunt Alice looked like she was trying hard not to laugh. Mom was blushing.

"Life was great and Aunt Rose never brought up our little escapes. I don't know if she truly knew, but she must have known. We weren't always that careful, we frequently came back in the middle of the night smelling like human and in my case alcohol. The fun seemed to never end and eventually I had one spot that I always went to. This is where I found out what EJ had been up to."

**Translation**:

Need a ride?

where are you going?

anywhere fun


	8. Chapter 8

That club I went to every night was the club that I saw EJ at and realized what he had been doing.

"Come on Ness! You got to finish it!" shouted one of the girls who I had met today

I continued to drink the foul liquid, gagging with each gulp. It was horrible. Like, drinking spiked grape medicine. I looked at the girl across from me as she continued to chug her drink. She was almost done and was about to beat me. I tilted my head all the way back and let the fizzy purple liquid side down my throat, only swallowing when necessary and not breathing, which I hoped no one noticed. I slammed the glass onto the table when the last of it was gone and everyone around me cheered.

The room blurred around me a bit as I stood up to get on the table, gripping the edge of it as I climbed up. "Thank you everyone for your encouragement! Free food and drinks for everyone!" the large crowd around me cheered. I started to fall backward as I walked off the table and felt the warmth of what felt like a million hands press into my back to steady me.

Once I was on the ground I walked over to Angelica and wrapped my arm around one of hers. She laughed as I leaned my head on her shoulder. "Ness you are so drunk right now." she told me.

"No I'm not." I said with a straight face. I really wasn't. I knew exactly what was going on and could already feel the alcohol being burned out of my system. This was one of the many disadvantages of being a hybrid freak, not being able to stay drunk for long. Thinking about my own body temperature made me think of Jacob, and how warm he always was. His head being ripped off of his body flashed through my mind again and I felt myself choke up. "I need some tequila!" I declared as I let go of Angie's hand and walked over to the bar. As I approached it, I hear the loud fumbling footsteps and rustling of clothes of two people above the noise of the club around me. As they walked by me I smelled the scent of sex first and then the familiar scent of my twin brother.

I felt a wide grin spread across my face and turned around to taunt him. He had his arm around a girl who looked to be at least five years older than him. She was beautiful in her long silky red skirt and black crop top. Her skin was tan, almost bordering on dark, and almost blended with her light brown hair. Her eyes were a kind of blue my aunt Alice would have described as Brandeis blue. She was beautiful in a very obvious way. A natural kind of beauty celebrities try to imitate, but never quite get.

I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or not, but she almost gave off a faint glow and standing next to EJ made him look pale. They were a beautiful couple, green and blue, light and dark and I couldn't help thinking that if they were to have a child, I would have the most beautiful niece or nephew ever.

I decided to leave EJ alone and not taunt him about the fact that I knew exactly what he and his girlfriend were doing. As I looked over to EJ's face I saw the anger in his eyes as he looked into my own eyes, which were bloodshot.

"You're drunk." He shouted as he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him.

I felt the anger rise up within me. I normally tried to remain as calm as possible, but tonight I had been drinking and the pain of the past was too intense. I snatched my arm away from him and pushed him with all of my strength. He stumbled and would have fallen to the ground if he hadn't fallen into the man behind him. As he was getting back on his feet I saw his girlfriend glare at me as she reached for him. I turned around and walked away before he could say anything, grabbing the shot of tequila as I went.

I chose to end my story there. Not only to give them to absorb the information that EJ and I weren't angels, but because there were things about me that I didn't want to reveal. They didn't have to know every detail to understand what had happened. I didn't even bother to lift my head up because at the moment I could literally feel the waves of anger rolling off of them. Honestly, at the time I didn't care and I can't exactly say that I am ashamed of what I did. It led to my meeting one of the greatest men in my life and things that I just couldn't regret.

I gave them a minute or so more and looked up a bit through my bronze lashes. Before they had the chance to really say anything, I brought the attention back to EJ in a somewhat selfish act.

"The woman that EJ had been with that night became his girlfriend. Two weeks later she gave birth to a son with bright green eyes. We knew without a doubt that he was EJ's son and that she obviously wasn't human. She left a day or two after giving birth. She came back a year later, long after we had been gone. This time, she took their son with her and jumped into the ocean. We haven't seen either of them since."

EJ looked for them for weeks. The day he came back he was soaked and smelled of saltwater. His skin had actually pruned a bit. When he walked through the door, he said nothing and did nothing. We all mourned for him and he never moved on. He couldn't.

"That was the true beginning of the end. I fell in love with a man over the next year. No matter where we moved he always seemed to be there. I began to trust him and actually enjoy being around him. We always had fun, and I never felt the need to drink around him. I never forgot Jacob, but being around Alec made it hurt less. I was able to move on and we eloped in July. Three months before we decided to come here I found out that I was pregnant."


	9. Chapter 9

**AN****: ****Dear****reader****, ****please****bare****with****me****. ****I****know****Renesmee****'****s****thought****process****is****confusing****, ****and****part****of****that****is****her****. ****Part****of****it****is****also****because****I****am****dealing****with****writers****block****. ****There****are****a****lot****of****things****going****on****with****my****life****, ****but****on****the****bright****side****this****is****the****last****week****of****my****freshman****year****of****college****! ****I****can****'****t****promise****but****, ****after****May****the****updates****should****come****more****frequently****.**

I had to hold back the tears as I thought about him. He gave up his life fighting for me, for us. Our relationship was odd, but I loved him. A part of me knew what would happen when we went back, but I didn't consider the things that would change dramatically. I thought of my faceless child, whom I would never get to meet, yet already existed. If our father followed our advice, our future would be completely different. Jacob would have never died and we would probably be together. I knew I would be happy, but I mourned for the loss of what I had with Alec. I didn't know what I would do. The me of the future would never know Alec. Would never understand his odd quirks, his sarcasm, nor his fierce protectiveness. Would never get to experience his love, our passion and how perfect we were together. He was everything that I wasn't and now we would never get to be together. I knew that we would never be allowed to meet by the facial expressions of the people that I called family. A lot of them were shocked, but rage seemed to be the common expression. They couldn't understand what we had been through. I was almost overwhelmed by the tidal wave of emotions that came over me as I thought of the child that neither Alec nor I would get to meet, because she would no longer exist.

I was saved from having to think more about this, by my mother. "Who's Alec?" she asked. Her question was a welcome distraction. I didn't want to think about how my time line had changed. I wanted to explain, but when I tried to speak I found that I couldn't. I thought EJ would explain, but it was dad that quietly told mom that Alec was a member of the Volturi guard. I knew that they wouldn't be happy, but there wasn't anything that they could do about it. In my lifetime, Alec was my husband. He was dead then and now I was a widow. However, none of this would matter because our future had already changed.

"Rosalie! What the hell were you doing? Both of my kids were teenage parents?! They were drinking! Why weren't you watching them?"

I loved my mother, but Aunt Rose was the one that raised us. I wouldn't let her disrespect Rose, especially because she didn't understand the full story. I addressed Aunt Rose when I saw the look on her face.

"I think the only reason you continued to live for so long, is because you felt obligated to us. When mom was pregnant you were the one that stood by her and fought for us. Nearly the whole family wanted us aborted, but mom didn't and you protected us. You and mom got really close and you felt like you owed it to her and everyone to help us live. Everyone on that battlefield gave up their lives for us. We weren't old enough to take care of ourselves so you did it for us."

"That doesn't mean it was easy." EJ continued. "When they came after you, you didn't put up a fight. I think you felt that your job was done and you were ready for death. Renesmee and I were grown and you welcomed the freedom that death gave you. It was painful for us, but we knew that you would leave us some day. I don't think you knew, but we could hear you cry sometimes. You were in so much pain and I think you were just ready to join the rest of our family."

Mom and dad had went upstairs mumbling about needing to talk. Many of the couples followed after them going to their separate rooms. EJ had left. I understood that he needed space, especially after thinking about what happened to us. We didn't really bring it up often because it was painful to think about for both of us. Sitting here in the home of my childhood and thinking about my own baby, who would never have a childhood brought back memories though. EJ had a son. A beautiful little boy that had been taken from him by a woman who had used him. I felt for EJ. He really loved her and believed that she loved him. When she left him with their child he was heartbroken and confused, but was determined to be a good father to his son, Aiden.

Two years later she returned in the middle of the night. Aiden was playing near the water of our island and splashing while EJ, aunt Rose and I talked. Suddenly Aiden was dragged under and all of us dove in to follow. We saw Kaia with Aiden in her arms, but couldn't catch her. She turned into a dolphin and disappeared from our lives forever. We were all shocked and hurt. Aunt Rose and I grieved and EJ did as well, but he threw himself into research. He found out that Kaia was an Encante. A dolphin that comes onto land to seduce men and reproduce. They often took children from the waters edge, which was why many of the locals of our previous home kept their children away. This wasn't entirely accurate though, because the only children that encantes took were their own.

I sympathized with EJ now more than ever. I hadn't lost my child yet, but I knew that I would. Neither of us would remember what happened in our "previous" lives, but for now the pain was real.

Instead of dwelling I decided to throw myself onto the white couch and into the world of television. I grabbed the remote and let my feet dangle over the arm rest. I flipped from channel to channel before settling on Courage the Cowardly Dog. The show had been over for years by the time I was born, but I liked to watch the reruns. As a child the show had always made me laugh and I hoped that it still had the same effect. I didn't have to worry because it was only a few minutes in and I was already laughing.

Things were different though. I watched the show for a distraction and instead found myself analyzing it. Eustace was an awful person, while Muriel was not. Why had they isolated themselves to the middle of nowhere? I knew all about running to get away and recognized it in these characters. The question was what were they running away from? I had been running my whole life, so it was easy for me to recognize when someone was doing the same. I tried to continue to watch the show, but couldn't silence my thoughts. Too many things were happening for me to actually enjoy the quiet time.

I let myself think, making sure not to think too much about what was out of my control. However there was something that I could do. I needed to see Jacob, to figure out what I wanted to do next. I walked out of the house and made my way to the rez, before I could think too much about it.


End file.
